Letter of Self-Introduction
Dear Professor Blackstone,
I am writing this email to introduce myself for your class. Before university, I was in Nanyang Polytechnic where I studied the Common Engineering Programme for my first semester before pursuing the Diploma in Robotics and Mechatronics onwards. Fascinated with robotics since I was young, it was my reason for studying engineering. After polytechnic, engineering design became my new interest as I want to use my creative mindset to implement new ideas to serve the needs of others. Since the Mechanical Engineering Program offers a Design specialization in Year 2, it attracted me to pursue my studies in SIT.
My strength in communication is being authentic, which makes it unique. Whenever I share my week with my close friends, they describe it as an inspiring take on my own perspective of life and are eager to listen to more. This ability also helped to interact meaningfully and forge bonds with new people that I meet.
However, I feel that I am weak in my oral communication. During presentations, I find it hard to convey my thoughts to an audience full of strangers, causing me to fumble while talking. This is why for this module, I want to build up my confidence and work on being a better communicator. It will be essential during later trimesters such as Capstone Project and IWSP where presentations are important.
Another goal in mind is to improve my writing skills. Unlike in polytechnic, reports in university are more complex, especially with citing sources and technical writing. From the future lessons, I believe that I would understand how to write my assignments properly to fit with the rubrics that are provided.
Through this introduction, I hope that you have learnt more about my background. I too look forward to learning from you during the upcoming weeks.
Yours Sincerely,
Caleb Cheong Jun Wei
Commented on: Rex, Zhi Xian and Justin
Hi Caleb, your letter was concise and well phrased. I'm glad to find out more about you, lets work on being better presenters in this module!
ReplyDeleteyour letter is both clear and concise. However i think you could provide more details about your weakness and how it making an improvement would help. Also in paragraph 3, I feel it is more appropriate to use "that" in the sentence:" This is why for this module...". Other than that, the letter displays well paced sentences and good grammar.
DeleteClarity:
ReplyDeleteStrength:
I felt that generally, the letter was clear and easy to understand
Precision:
Strength:
Points in the letter were addressed straight to the point, adding to clarity and ease of understanding
Accuracy
Strength:
I felt that language and grammar are generally accurate
Significance:
Strength:
This letter was significant in allowing me to understand more about you through your experiences and explanations
Relevance:
Strength:
Completeness:
Strength:
I felt that generally, the letter was complete and under the points required except the point that “differentiates you from others (or, the steps toward a personal brand)”.
Weakness:
Maybe you missed out on the point that makes you stand out from others, other than that I feel that you could also give an example of an instance where you fumbled while talking so that it is easier to understand what caused you to stumble.
Logicalness:
Strength:
Generally, the letter was written logically, adding to the conciseness as well as ease of understanding
Fairness:
Strength:
Both sides of your strengths and weaknesses were addressed, however, I felt that it would aid in the understanding of the reader if more concrete examples were quoted
Breadth:
Strength:
I feel that the letter was comprehensive as you shared a good amount of personal experience and linked it to the points in the letter
Depth:
Strength:
I felt that the letter had a good amount of depth as it allowed me to better understand you as an individual
Hi Caleb! After reading your introductory letter, I think that its fairly well written. Though it is generally concise, some sentences could be further simplified for better understanding. For instance, "Fascinated with robotics since I was young, it was my reason for studying engineering" could be rewritten as "My childhood fascination with robotics inspired me to study engineering."
ReplyDeleteIn terms of clarity, some sentences could be refined slightly, such as, "This ability also helped to interact meaningfully and forge bonds with new people that I meet" to "This ability helps me in forming meaningful interactions and forge bonds with new people that I meet."
Apart from a few minor sentence structures, the tone is both polite and respectful, and provides us an accurate, relevant description of you as a person (Your background and goals). Overall, it was pleasant getting to know you through your own words!